The relation of a husband and wife is the basis of a family, and therefore it must be strongest. However usually, we take it for granted; this is where problems arise. We don’t work on our relation much, which affects our kids also and to top it up, we don’t even realize it.

Spouses usually have in their minds that we have to do everything for our kids and ignore each other most of the time just for kids’ sake. They don’t realize that due to this ignorance, their bond gets weaken as time passes. Distance begins to grow more and more, resulting in misunderstandings, quarrels, mistrust due to which home atmosphere becomes thick. Eventually, kids get poorly affected by it for whom they were doing everything. They don’t realize that kids need a peaceful house, loving and understanding parents who love and understand each other. The rest are secondary, but in most cases, spouses prioritize secondary things and ignore the basics, which give destructive results in the long run.

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If I specifically talk about our Asian culture, people don’t work on their relationships and rush towards giving birth right after marriage. The minor and neglectable problems before the baby become significant and damaging after the baby’s birth. As after birth responsibilities increase and spouses get busy with babies, new issues and difficulties arise side-by-side. When the partners haven’t solved and worked on previous ones, the later ones only add fuel. The relation starts to burn gradually. After some time, they may stay together while keeping hatred in their hearts for each other, which will eventually be visibly seen in their actions or separate their ways. Either way, it affects the kids badly. We can’t avoid problems and difficulties; they are part and parcel of life; we solve them and manage them while living our lives to the fullest.

After marriage, spouses should always take some time and invest in the relationship, be it one, two, three or five years, no matter how long it takes. As every relation moves at its own pace, depends on the understanding of partners, always take some time before moving on to the next step, reproduction. This way, when new problems and difficulties arise after birth, both partners will understand each other and their issues well and eventually solve them together, strengthening their bond more. They will provide a loving atmosphere for their kids, which will pull off a strong, caring and understanding family in the long run.

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I understand that it is easy to talk about than to implement, as, in Asian culture, there are too many societal and family pressures and influences in a couple’s life. Still, we all have to fight it together with our spouses and stay firm on our stance without considering anyone because it’s our life, and we should be the ones to take its decisions.

In my next post, I will write about how a couple can grow their bond strong and understand each other as in the beginning; it’s challenging to pull off the relationship, so a few points in mind will always help. Meanwhile, I would love to know what difficulties you all faced at the beginning of your relationship, and it may help many of us.

Blogger Attia

Published by Zakia Attia

Passion of poetry, writing and reading


  1. I would offer that not so many husband/wife relationships deteriorate to the point of being harmful one to the other, but yes, your point that we become complacent is correct and we do need to work on what is perhaps the most important relationship in our lives. A very good read. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are most welcome. It is refreshing to see a writer/philosopher paying attention to what readers feel, agree or not. An opportunity to mature in any small way should never be overlooked. You are on my short list; will return, not always vocal, but reading and “listening.”

        Liked by 1 person

      2. An awesome gesture, would always appreciate kindness. It means world to a writer when someone truly read between the written lines and raise productive response. I’m lucky enough to have one! Since humans are unpredictable creature, hence it would be judgemental rather a view point if we glue the views. Thanks again😇

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes its very important for newly wedded couples to establish a certain connection between them before they even think of having a child. Because, as you said, it will affect the children deeply when they see that their parents don’t love or respect each other, and they’re always arguing and all that stuff. Nice article Zakia, I really enjoyed reading it! Thanks😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Another masterpiece article by my favourite writer , philospher and blogger.
    Indeed, A good understanding is key for successful marriage. Also good to know about author’s culture and infact would love to know more about it. Hope some day we can discuss about culture and philosphies in detail. Excellent work and keep doing the good work. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are very right, most of the time the relation between husband and wife getting worse due to baby, they both need to realise the value of the relationship. Well written ☺🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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