Mother is a very significant part of a child’s life. One can not brush her off from her child’s life. No matter what we do, how much we love and care for the child, he will always have that special love for his mother, and she will remain the most important one in his life.
Moreover, he will only love, respect, and care for those when he grows up, who have loved, cared, and respected his mother. So one should always treat the mother the way they want their child to treat them when they grow older.
If a mother is not getting love from people surrounding her, her child will not love them back also. If she is not cared for and respected, her child will do the same in return to those being unreasonable to the mother no matter what relation that person has with that child.
Usually, in our culture, when a child is born, people start making it difficult for the mother to raise her child. They do not even give love and affection to the mother the way they should do to a new mom. They do not even consider her deserving of any attention. All they do is pay attention to the child and focus on him. Not only this, they even make it difficult for a new mommy to go through this postpartum phase. This attitude instills some dislike for them in mommy’s heart, and that dislike transfers to the baby as baby and mother always have this heart-to-heart bond. Furthermore, while growing up, kids see the same behavior and even worse with their mother, due to which the dislike inside them grows stronger as time passes and turns into hate.
If we want to win a child’s heart, we have to treat the mother better, and the kid will always love us. Moreover, if we do not treat her well and try to bond with the child only, it should be kept in mind that the child will never choose us over his mother because, for a kid, the mother is always the figure his life revolves around.
Eh, it’s tasteless, boring, not for my tongue, etc., Do healthy foods get these remarks always? Does healthy food always mean strict eating? A big “NO” I can prove that with a number of our traditional foods (eastern) where I vouch it to be healthy, delicious and not at all boring.
Although, I would always love it if anyone can add to my point or even, I can challenge it. Believe me, tasty foods play a vital role as fuel to your body and organs especially your heart, brain, and stomach. It’s a famous proverb from eastern culture, “food not taken my eyes and mouth is of no use for the intestine”….heh
I would love to share, some good recipes, if anyone is interested. The recipes would be simple and healthy for sure. Till then enjoy the tempting pictures!
Parents are the most precious treasure. Their love is unconditional. My biggest fear, “Losing any of them”! I feel breathless!
Any call in odd timings always gave me Goosebumps fearing any such news. This fear stood on my phone when I was sleepless on 08-04-19 (4:00 am). I lost my father! I felt as if I’m under direct sun, my rescuer, my supporter was gone.
HOW DID/WILL I OVERCOME IT?
Yes, I overcame this pain and fear by visiting my mother frequently and making her happy by all means. After all, she is my father’s life, my heart keeps calm. May he rest in peace!
So, we continue with the fact that we as parents are stuck in two phases, i.e., Visible Phase (VP) and Invisible Phase (IVP) (as detailed in Parenting Blog # 1). We believe the VPS continues throughout the Parenting with changes in the modes, categories, and lifestyle. While the IVPs are constant, just the sensitivity fluctuates over time.
We want to explain the roots of the phases we face as parents (irrespective of Male or female Parent); let us see the chart below:
Here, it is better to elaborate the parts to make sure the above assumptions of proportions, generally, are near to facts.
Organically, this chunk should be 25% to 30%, as this is the basic block of Parenting where someone chooses to provide a healthy and happy span of growth to their child, both physically and mentally—for instance, providing healthy food, timely eating, good sleep time, physical and mental activities, basic manners, cleanliness, modest clothing, etcetera. Our earlier blog mentioned that this varies from parent to parent, but the prime cause is somehow similar. So, observing parents, in general, give the utmost 20% focus to this chunk (if more, it is glamorized with luxuries), which is 5% to 10% lesser than the required.
The hottest sip of tea for every parent is given 30% or sometimes even up to 50% of parenting life! Every other forum discusses this topic with a broad spectrum as this has become more than a necessity. Although organically it might not be, the most challenging part of deciding upon it might not be the social influence, family politics and rivalries, inferior complex, non-productive/self-created competition, and relevant factors, turn the decision rather a difficult one. We feel that our kids’ education is some sensitive personal level decision, purely to be decided by parents themselves (considering available resources and preferences) without any influence, to get best results. It might be a highly charged school, some missionary school, a good school, or a good. Educating our kids reeducating to grow with knowledge rather than burden them with loads of b& material with stress on succeeding at any cost. We do not mind going with Kids’ choices as per their interests instead of forcing them for a particular faculty or pre-defined choices. It just not stops their creativity, but it is also challenging to make them good humans and excellent decision-makers (serious tool as one day they will be parents too, let them be good decision-makers). So, why put oneself in hot water when it is a simple task purely “YOU” decision. Hence, we feel this chunk of Parenting should not take more than 25% of parenting life.
It is the most courageous part and 200% result-oriented. It is where someone needs a strong (mentally) spouse to push this chunk nicely and successfully. It needs a lot of self-analysis, patience, focus, mindfulness, and the best utilization of available resources and time. Parents need to align their acts, decision and provide quality time to their kids. This chunk need not be compromised at any cost as this is the US that can make the Parenting bright (success) or the other way (failure). The riskiest is irreversible (I would discuss at some other time in detail in order to refrain from parenting losses). Considering the factual observation and being a student/Parent counselor, we feel that this chunk to be given at least 30% of parenting life, opposing the overall percentage at 10% as this is the basic block of Parenting, our relationship strength with our kid/s.
The least important, as need to be, but unfortunately, it is not! There seems to be unlimited, undefined, unnecessary, and undoubtedly a long list. We are busy providing our kids the maximum we can get out of these unreasonable listings. This chunk is given 40 % or sometimes more than that, which results adversely in different critical areas of Parenting and invites the IVPs (negative impacts) for both parents and their kids. We are not against luxuries. Instead, we believe in setting limits to lessen the unjustified burden on parents and kids to realize the value or worth of anything that is being arranged for them by their parents. So, this needs an extraordinary balancing scale to be set by parents. Organically, parents should give only 10% max to this chunk. Nevertheless, whatsoever our purchasing power is, the limit will help us doing effective Parenting.
Parents, relax and are reasonable! We as parents already doing a sensitive and responsible job, so why not make it an effective one….? We hope our words bring in some positive changes and somehow helpful to understand Parenting, a better way..!
We will be discussing the above chunks with real examples to make sure we justify our opinion well, and we will always welcome feedbacks and personal opinions that might add to our cause as parents. Yeah……………towards our next blog!
PARENTING….! Reason this topic chosen is, we feel we can add some good drops in the bucket of thoughts, is the conflicts I found around the globe on this particular colossal slice of one’s life. Being a mother of two girls, a woman went through many early experiences; one thing which kept intact was to be as reasonable as we can, keeping the goals focused. It is the observation that parents and kids a lot, especially working as Parent – Student counselors at two schools, that too in average vicinity where parents face hard times even for primary parenting phase. So, instead of these facts and the urge to put in some value addition in Parenting, We are here with an open blog where we would be glad to share people’s real-life examples, problems, solutions, creativity, or anything they want. And please, no assumptions or imaginations, just REAL! So, here we are putting up our thoughts as a blog…!
Is parenting an easy task? Changing diapers, feeding healthy & timely, sleeping schedule, clothing, skincare, cleanliness, education, home chores, office work, self-grooming, and much more. Eh?
Numerous forums and discussion boards have discussed this unique endless topic, with several problems, solutions, tricks, myths, etcetera. Here we are also having the same discussion with a different perspective with a solution-based observation and discussion.
Let us begin with dividing the Parenting (Especially preceding years from Day 1 till teenage) between two main areas, I.e., Visible Phase (VP) and Invisible Phase (IVP). These parenting phases are both for both Parents. Although intensity differs from case to case basis, it varies with either parents or single parent in terms of sensibility, care, decision making, easy-going, possessiveness, overthinking, and availability of resources (monetary as well as moral support.)
Feeding – Which food to give and when? What is healthy? Timing chunks, packet food, organic food…………….again endless.
Sleeping Schedule – When baby should sleep? Why is he/she sleepless? Is the bed comfortable? Eh, endless too!
Clothing – Will the fabric suit the baby? Which brand to go with according to affordability (for many, affordability does not matter)? What fashion suits the baby? How does someone with their baby should look? Heh, is it endless?
Skincare – Dealing with allergies, searching for the best skin ointments, etcetera
Education: Choosing schools, preparatory centers, home education, etcetera
Home Chores management: Both parents are into this type.
Work (from home/ at the office): Eh, this is huge to list!
Self-grooming: Generally less paid! Sometimes Neve. Eww!
Invisible Phase (IVP):
Here we go with the IVP list:
Lack of confidence
Anyone can add as many as they faced as IVPs are neither confined nor identical.
“A big Shout out to all the Parents,” you all have been doing a fantastic job, most hardworking, devoted, sincere, and precious services! Not an easy job at all. The above is only the initial phase (early years of Parenting) in the discussion. The scene is incomplete, however…..!
In our opinion, Parenting needs more discussions in place of solution cum satisfaction. Therefore, we will go with real-life case studies, our experiences, our observations, our analysis that we have gained as a parent-student counselor, educationalist, and ourselves as a parent. First, of course, moving to Part #2 of our blog.
‘RECYCLING’ is the term used highly in this era. In every conversation, gathering, debate, discussion, Almost everywhere, BUT no one is bothered to work upon it. These days, it has become a norm that every other person is master in firing words and using terminologies and slogans. Still, we find the majority acting opposite to what they say practically. We see them reluctant to implement what they said.
If we look around ourselves, we will find that people are busy showing off how much they are blessed to buy whatever they want no matter what it cost. Hence they are wasting resources. We do not realize that by spending on articles that can be made easily at home from trashed items; we are wasting our funds and as well as we are polluting the environment more and making the survival of our future generation challenging.
For recycling, we use the term ‘3 R’s’; now the question is, what is the 3 Rs?
“The three R’s – reduce, reuse and recycle – all help to cut down on the amount of waste we throw away. In addition, they conserve natural resources, landfill space, and energy. Plus, the three R’s save land and money.”
It is high time to play our part to minimize pollution in this world and start working upon this 3 R’s Program. We always talk about pollution and its disasters but are not willing to even take a step forward on our own. Statistics say; in 2015, POLLUTION killed 9 million people in the world. If we ponder over it why this happened, we will get the answers by ourselves. All this happens because individually, we all think that how can only a person, let suppose someone starts working upon the 3 R’s, would make a difference to the environment? So if we all think the same way and count our acts worthless, nothing will change then.
Moreover, soon the earth will no longer be a safe place to live, and species will extinct, As it is already happening, but in the future, humans will also be in those species who have started to extinct on this earth. When we throw a single bracelet in the sea, we assume what a single bracelet would do to the ocean but imagine there are 50,000 people at a time at the shore. Everyone is throwing their bracelets in the sea, having the same thoughts, what will we get in the result? There will be 50,000 bracelets in the ocean. Yes, a single bracelet would not do any harm, but 50,000 bracelets will pollute the sea and ultimately make life difficult for water creatures or maybe destroy them.
So the thing is, WE HAVE TO BE THE CHANGE WE WANT IN THIS WORLD. Daily, from every single house, much waste is thrown in the garbage. If we all individually try to minimize the garbage quantity of our own homes, we can make this world less polluted.